Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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