i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
