The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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