There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize