why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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