Everything about him screamed your future.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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