Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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