I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
