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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
