at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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