forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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