This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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