A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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