I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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