I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
