I need help removing her.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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