if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
