the new term for farting is butt boxing.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
