I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
