i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
