Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
