Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have fence marks all over my body
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
