So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Randomize
