How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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