Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
