It's chlamydia! Thank God!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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