White coat. Heels.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
