I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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