question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
