White coat. Heels.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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