oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize