They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize