My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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