my mouth tastes like poor choices
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
