Do vagina's smell?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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