It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize