It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
