i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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