Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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