I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
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