Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
