I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
