I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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