Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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