he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
