We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Oh god it's open bar.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize