You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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