She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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