Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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