whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
