There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
