Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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