So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Boobs speak an international language.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
