I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
