Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
