one two three fourrrrnication!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
