yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Randomize
