i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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