I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
