after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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