38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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