So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
