I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
