P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
