I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
