Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
