The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you had me at cake vodka
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Vodka?
Forever.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
