Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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