Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize