I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
