The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
