Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
