So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think my moral compass just broke
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