I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
