One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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