Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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