At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Bring me that man meat
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize