Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
