Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
