hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
