I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize