i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
