it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Of course I have a pirate flag
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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