Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
